state of receiving

Went to one of my regular restaurants yesterday. Noticed this boy there. He’s a helper. He cleans the tables, serves water, takes away the dirty dishes. Mostly doing series of thankless tasks. Always walking from table to table till midnight. And yesterday I glanced at his face. In that honest unexpected moment, for the first time I saw his expression. It’s tiered and angry. He serves water at my table. I have seen this boy before. Was rude to him couple of times on earlier occasions. Don’t entirely remember why. And as he serves me water, I say to myself that I should try and make his life easier somehow. No, I am not thinking about his life in particular. It’s about doing something to make anyone’s life easier.

All my life I’ve been taking. Taking with both hands open. Greedily grasping at anything life throws at me.

Its time I learned to give too. Give with both my heart and my hands open.

I’ve had very unhealthy habits before I moved on to my present day healthier lifestyle. I have been intimate with many people before I can now experience the magic of aloneness. I move from state to state. Ideals and ideas I rejected earlier, at times become a part of me for sometime before I move to yet another state. This is evidence of life, evidence that I am living, changing, evolving.

So undoubtedly I’ll move to the state of giving and helping also. However, I am getting too far ahead into the story. As of now I am enjoying the Getting, the Having and the occasional Giving.